Saturday, 17 December 2011

Why meeting my wife probably saved my life.

Since I wrote this, my partner and I split up at the end of  2013, however most of this still stands.

After my then ex had throw me out after I found out she had been shagging a stream of men over 6 years, leaving me with just what I stood up in, broke, homeless and living on the streets. I have to admit I'd hit the floor in so many ways.

I realised I could either accept things or fight back against life. So when life kicks you in the nuts, you start kicking back. So I did, I started to kick back. I fought my way back on my feet and went from living on the streets to rent a house again. The house in Delves Lane when I started living there had no carpets on the floor, no furniture and just a borrowed camp bed. But it was my place to stay so I slowly got both given things to furnish it from friends and family and thins I'd managed to save up for. Although one thing stands out above all others. At the time I'd been mates with Robin Harris and his brother Mikey for more years than either of us cared to admit. On his 1st visit to the new house Robin took one look and went home...odd behaviour for a friend you'll agree.
Robin Harris and me back in happier times 
I was amazed when he turned up 15 mins later with the carpet off his own bedroom floor to put on mine. He didn't want a big thing made of it at the time, but I think it's safe to let out this act of generosity as firstly its about 13 years later and secondly I haven't spoke to Robin in about 8 years sadly. It was the result of a very nasty argument over something very stupid really, while yes it was serious, it certainly wasn't worth over 20 years of friendship. He'd accused me of stealing the sound card out of his PC,(a pc I'd made for him previously BTW). This soundcard I not only had 4 of upstairs in my parts cupboard but it was only worth about £5 on ebay.

The fact that I'd been the one that had pointed out it was missing after he'd recently had it to a 'proper pc repair place' was totally besides the point. I was angry that such a good friend would accuse me of stealing anything when I'd never stolen a damn thing in my life, not even when I was homeless! So words were said and as Robin refused to apologise or retract things that was it ...end of a 20 year friendship. As I'd never seen him apologise in 20 years for anything this came as no big surprise to be honest. So I'm still waiting for that apology and I have a feeling I'll be waiting a long, long time.
Around this time I found myself in a situation that scared the crap out of me. After spending the night with a female who shall remain nameless (mainly as like 99% of them at that time I can't remember their names), I'd woke up with a hangover to find myself in a room with walls covered in collectors knives! Hundreds of the damn things, and even a collection of skulls on a shelf...yep they were probably plastic but I ran... not walked out of that fucking house and never looked back. I thought I'd shagged a female Jeffery Dalmer or something and wasn't about to hang around to confirm things either way. I was 8 miles away from home and walked back the whole way paranoid as hell lol.
So I suppose the short version is that I had sworn off women for life after that and decided to just continue having one wild party of a life for as long as I could. I was lucky to have a nice bit of money coming in each week from teaching grade 8 guitar so most of the time was my own. I started to pop into chat rooms on line on a night time to fill in the nights stuck in the house. Yes, remember chat rooms? they were all the rage at one time online lol. Most times they could be funny but also vicious places but never boring. I first ran across my wife in a chat room, we chatted and took the piss out of each other as you do and also looked upon people who met online and had 'online relationships' with a certain amount of both pity and piss taking. After about a year someone had arranged a party at their house in Stevenage. I'd never been to Stevenage, but any excuse for a party was good enough for me. So I did something that was very rare back then and popped on a train to the other end of the country and went. The party involved lots of beer (I drank a whole crate of Budweiser all by myself of 24bottles in a single night...I've no idea how I did it and not drop dead or end up in hospital!) But that was all to come.

I was sitting there at the party early on watching people walk into this nice house when in walked a woman. I turned to the guy called Paul sat next to me and said 'that's the woman I'll spend the rest of my life with'. 

[EDIT] we lasted a total of 11 years which wasn't a bad innings and we still remain friends

We're still together 9 years later at the time of writing and have 2 children together Kane (aged 6 1/2) and Emily (Aged 2 1/2). Why Kat ever got together is a mystery to me as my behaviour at this party was definitely about a 8 on a 1 out of 10 scale of bad behaviour. There is a photo I have that was taken of me in the pouring rain in a posing pouch pissed out of my mind with a bottle in one hand. No you can't see it(although I 'll do a crop of it to prove this dynamite career ending photo does indeed exist...and I have the only copy outside of my mate John in Scotland lol. ) So why Kat found me worth even talking to still boggles my mind!
No you can not see the rest of the photo. But I was only 28 at the time lol
I used to commute from my home about 10 miles outside of Durham to Dover to meet her on a weekend. Those trips were killers as 750 miles on trains and sometimes coaches were not fun. But she was worth it ..and still is. After about a year we decided one night when on the phone (we'd be on mobile phones to each other over an hour or more each day or night) for her to move in with me. I put my 'Mr Organiser' head on and inside of 23 hours she was sitting in my house with me with all her suitcases. I got a train to London that morning , met her in Paddington then both got a train back up here where my dad picked us up. Like me when she wants or needs something she will move heaven and earth to make it happen. She hates having her photo taken and it is more than my balls are worth to put a picture of her anywhere online lol. But she can be heard in some of my early video blogs on YouTube.
Probably the only Photo My wife will allow anyone to see of her.
 I've always said I am a deeply flawed human being and this non 3D blog should help to point this out and also act as a small reminder to me that in some ways I have had a seriously fucked up life.
But it has made me who I am and I am proud of the one fact that I fought my way off the streets and back to a normal (or what passes for it) life. I could write a book on some of the terrible things I saw while living on the streets, but for now I choose to leave it where it the past.